Skeletons In My Closet, the Crawdad Saga Continues...

Friday, May 8, 2015

I'm not here to judge. Many of us have skeletons in our closets, so to speak.
I am here today to tell you that I actually have skeletons in my closet... AND under my couch.
For those of you who are not familiar with my near-death-by-a-crawdad experience,
 you can catch up here.



If you remember, after checking our fish tank we had discovered that we were STILL missing a crawdad.
We looked and looked, however we did not find a crawdad. I was so scarred after almost being devoured by the sinister decendant of Satan Himself, that I could no longer comfortably stand any where near a piece of furniture that a crawdad could fit under. I'm serious. When approaching our couch I would have to leap onto it once I was within 12 inches of it, ensuring that my toes were never within reach of the vile escapee.

 True story. 

And can I tell you? It was extremely awkward fluffing and rotating our couch pillows from a foot away.

Weeks passed without a crawdad sighting. I really started to think that we must have miscounted, that we were rid of them. Until one very early, cold fall morning I had decided to do some cleaning before the boys woke up. I planned to clean the dust bunnies from Mike's closet floor. (I am weird like that) So there I was, 6:30 am, on my hands and knees in my husband's closet. I began removing shoes so I could dust off the floor. I removed a pair of boots and that's when I saw...it.



The sinister, repulsive creature was staring at me with it's vacant, beady little eyes.

Mike could hear me from across the house. So much for trying to not wake the kids... Just when I thought it was safe. When I began to heal from my previous trauma, when I had finally began trusting my furniture again. Although the closet crawdad was dead when I found it, I was now tip toeing around the furniture once more. :/ But at least we knew, we could now be sure we had gotten rid of all the escapees.
Or so I had thought...

Fast forward to a couple of months later, time for some Spring Cleaning. First Mistake. Mike is helping me out around the house and begins vacuuming the living room. He's moving moving furniture, getting into the corners, and decides to clean the abyss underneath our sofa. I decide to help him. Second Mistake. You wouldn't  believe the amount of stray goldfish, coco puffs, and Poppi Cereal (Lucky Charms) we found amongst the blocks, cars, and bouncy balls. After clearing away the kiddy debris, Mike grabs the cot we kept under the sofa and begins to shake it out. And that's when the tiny little skeleton, the ghost from my past comes back to haunt me!



I actually jumped out of my skin.

THAT'S IT!!! WE'RE MOVING!!!!

I can not stay in this crawdad infested house anymore! They are not even alive and they're coming out of the woodwork! I am forever stuck fluffing my sofa pillows from an awkward twelve inches away. I will never be able to walk barefoot in my own home again.

Never...

Ever.

House For Sale:
A 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom home. Newly painted kitchen. Wood floors.
A large backyard. If you don't mind the occasional crawdad haunting 
then I really think this could be the place for you!





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